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        auxilary25  40, Female, California, USA - 32 entries
    10
    Sep 2010
    4:40 AM EDT
       

    Back to Sqaure One

    After everything we had overcome we're now back to not speaking to eachother. The court was on Wednesday and the only way I could get get the judge to understand why I don’t feel comfortable with time taking the baby is by saying everything that happened including him kicking the dog. Contrary to his belief I didn’t say these things to be vindictive and screw him. I did it because I want him to get help and realize that abuse is not fine even if it’s just with a dog at first. You get used to the idea of hitting something when you get mad that’s defenseless and perhaps one day you cross that line with a loved one.
    �
    I’m sad because the judge ordered us to communicate. We have parenting classes we need to attend together and a DRs visit to discuss the formulas she needs to drink and the changes that will take place if the court approves unsupervised visitations. He’s supposed to visit her every day, I sent him a text asking him to coordinate with me that I’ll back off and give him space to be with her alone either in her room or the room downstairs but he didn’t respond.
    He kept texting me the day before how much he loved me & missed me. He wouldn’t walk out on us but now because he didn’t get his way in court he’s going to have a temper tantrum and stop talking to me? I get it; I ended things the day before and told him how much better my life is when I do not love him. This is because every time I open up to him I find out he’s lying somehow and it tortures me because then I jump to the conclusion that everything he says is a lie.
    I really don’t know what else to do at this point because we have a daughter together. I didn’t MAKE him do those things. I didn’t force him to kick the dog, I didn’t force him to drive fast, park, and get off leaving me in the car…so why get mad @ me for saying the truth??? Doesn’t he realize that at least I’m not inventing these things??
    I’m leaving it in Gods hands. We’ll see if he eventually comes around like before.
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        auxilary25  40, Female, California, USA - 32 entries
    10
    Sep 2010
    3:01 PM EDT
       

    Disappointment

    I'm disappointed in you. I really believed you changed and cared about us. I thought u wanted to be a father and a part of her life regardless of us being together. I believed in you when you said you loved us. Believing in you was my mistake.

    I wish you'd see that I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm not ur enemy I really do love you. I wish you'd help urself and heal your mind so that you can be a part of our daughters life. I wish things could go back to how they were when we were happy.�

    God knows why things happen and nothing in life is a mistake. If you leave, if you don't look back then it's for the best. One day I'll find happiness and that man can be a wonderful role model for our daughter. Although you have ur issues u are her father and I'd hate for you to lose that bond and connection. I wish this was easier and she could have her daddy to run to...if only her daddy loved her to get help.

    Dear God,

    Please heal the wounds that this separation has caused us and our families. Please God light the path towards restoration and peace. May we survive these hard times to have a stronger bond even if it's just a co-parenting relationship. Please wash away the anger, resentment, and any evil thoughts that ruin the happy moments. Please God only you have the power to heal him. If it's ur will just think it and he will be healed forever. Please drive out the demons that cloud his mind and prevent him from finding his way to a life in Christ. If he finds his way to You, God I know he'll never do harm again because anyone who has God in his heart has a conscious to do good. Please let Ur will be done and if it's Ur will for us to go through these hard times and separate then so be it God.

    I love you, strength me, and I will try my hardest not to fail you. But I beg You bring peace to my family and the families of everyone in this world.

    God is love.

    Amen <3

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        MrsBaz  62, Female, Florida, USA - 8 entries
    09
    Sep 2010
    6:42 AM EDT
       

    What advantages have I been given in life? 2020

    I was given the gift of faith!
    I was given the gift of love!
    I was given the gift of joy!
    I was given the gift of education - OK, busted my butt for this one!
    I have a wonderful husband (usually, he has his moments) whom I am totally in love with!
    I have the best children in the world - and grandchildren!
    I have an awesome family to stand by me.
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        MrsBaz  62, Female, Florida, USA - 8 entries
    09
    Sep 2010
    5:01 AM EDT
       

    I expect others: - to be supportive. - to be kind. - to be polite. - to be honest. - to have a sense of humor.
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        MrsBaz  62, Female, Florida, USA - 8 entries
    09
    Sep 2010
    4:29 AM EDT
       

    Weight Loss Journey: Day One Statement

    Well, today is day 1.� Not meaning it is the first day I have made an attempt, but meaning that this is the start of my recorded journey.� I have tried so many times to loose weight - sometimes succeeding, only to gain it all back - and then some.

    Yesterday I stood on the scale and it showed....�� 243!� That has to be my OMG moment.� OK, it was wrong - but not by much....� 235.� What is important is that I am almost there and definitely going to be there and over 250 soon!�

    THIS MUST STOP NOW!

     I don't know how this will be different; I only know that it must be different.� Melissa is going to contact Physicians Weight Loss Center for information.� I know that I need help, maybe going with something I have to pay for will help me to succeed.� I am going to watch my calories and start exercising today.� I will record what I eat and how much I exercise.� I will brag and boast of any goals met...�� I will cry and whine about goals missed...� but I will record all of them.

    I did the PWLC assesment last night.� According to thier online test�my ideal weight is between 99 and 121, so I should shoot for 111.� Don't know that I honestly believe that.� Don't know if that is possible for me.

    Well, here goes...�

    Tags: Weight Loss Journey
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        MrsBaz  62, Female, Florida, USA - 8 entries
    09
    Sep 2010
    2:52 PM EDT
       

    What's the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your life this year? The single most important thing I could do... lose weight. It would improve my health, my self image, and my ability to play with my grandchildren.
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        MrsBaz  62, Female, Florida, USA - 8 entries
    09
    Sep 2010
    11:20 AM EDT
       

    "I made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it short."��������� - Pascal

    I love this quote...
    it is very typical of me.
    I have used it often!


    20

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        Privacy963  29, Male, California, USA - 54 entries
    08
    Sep 2010
    2:58 PM PST
       

    Dear Hanna
    I'll call you Hanna from now on because two significant people I know have that name. My loving cousin and in my opinion my best friend, Since 7th grade Hanna from school protected me from the verbal abuse of bullies and still(despite drama) has time to console me in my time of need and my coz is one of the most loving cousins one could have. Even if we're in different worlds I can still feel her love.
    � School was really fun today except we had lots of Beiser hw too 70 problems come on. Anyway I think it's cause we're going to have a test soon which is probably as far as we know its tommorrow. Since it's so much I'll finish the rest tommorrow. My plan for a drawing club is going very well a few more people joined up also. Many are girls but that's ok I just want to help people learn how to draw. Though Mr.Grove has to approve remember Philip Don't count your chickens before you count your eggs hatch. We're still meeting 7th graders which is actually cool I think we can make a much better impact than last year. My batch last year didn't turn out good in my opinion. Instead of focusing on my problems I should focus on theirs.�
    � In school we keep having test test test but still it's fun. You to help the 9th graders this year I was considering a creating a Chemist club and a Biology Club you know�to make things funner and eaiser. Also we need a math club which can help Griffins love math more and provide more effective tutoring. Kids teaching kids doesn't that sound wonderful.

    Diary I sinned I really hoep I can stop but I know I will with God's�love
    Good night for it's very late

    ���������������� Yours truly

    ���������������������� Philip Macapagal
    P.S Did you know Mr.Douglas wrote a diary so he can compose his thoughts I think I will too

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        Privacy963  29, Male, California, USA - 54 entries
    08
    Sep 2010
    2:58 PM PST
       

    Dear Hanna
    I'll call you Hanna from now on because two significant people I know have that name. My loving cousin and in my opinion my best friend, Since 7th grade Hanna from school protected me from the verbal abuse of bullies and still(despite drama) has time to console me in my time of need and my coz is one of the most loving cousins one could have. Even if we're in different worlds I can still feel her love.
    � School was really fun today except we had lots of Beiser hw too 70 problems come on. Anyway I think it's cause we're going to have a test soon which is probably as far as we know its tommorrow. Since it's so much I'll finish the rest tommorrow. My plan for a drawing club is going very well a few more people joined up also. Many are girls but that's ok I just want to help people learn how to draw. Though Mr.Grove has to approve remember Philip Don't count your chickens before you count your eggs hatch. We're still meeting 7th graders which is actually cool I think we can make a much better impact than last year. My batch last year didn't turn out good in my opinion. Instead of focusing on my problems I should focus on theirs.�
    � In school we keep having test test test but still it's fun. You to help the 9th graders this year I was considering a creating a Chemist club and a Biology Club you know�to make things funner and eaiser. Also we need a math club which can help Griffins love math more and provide more effective tutoring. Kids teaching kids doesn't that sound wonderful.

    Diary I sinned I really hoep I can stop but I know I will with God's�love
    Good night for it's very late

    ���������������� Yours truly

    ���������������������� Philip Macapagal
    P.S Did you know Mr.Douglas wrote a diary so he can compose his thoughts I think I will too

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        jroberts1941  81, Male, Kentucky, USA - 50 entries
    07
    Sep 2010
    5:38 PM CST
       

    God First, Fellowship, Christ make home in my heart, Do all in the name of the LORD, make disciples

    God First, Fellowship, Christ make home in my heart, Do all in the name of the LORD, make disciples
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